Today starts the revolution of all blogs!!! Hahaha, well yes its been a hot minute (that's what they are saying now) OOOoooorrr, "this blog is clutch", oh how the English language evolves lol. Anyway lets get this ball rolling, as all my readers may know (and here's hoping to new readers) my name is Iris and no I haven't changed since I last started blogging. I'm still crazy in the head, sleepless at night, constantly questioning, and yes going through the longest emotional roller coaster in history. This is why I started to blog, to get my thoughts down and out of my head before it explodes. This time I've decided not to hold back anymore. All the details will be written on stone and if I'm referring to someone I know your name will be dropped on here unless you tell me otherwise then I will censor it, (wow i just realized how much faster at typing I'm getting for blogging, sweet!) So here goes on whats been going on lately in "this thing I call my head"
First I'd like to say that I am finally done with school!!!!!! WOOOOO!!! Yeah I know, I wasn't even convinced myself in the beginning but then when I realized I was sleeping in late everyday and not having to be up at 7 for the morning commute I was like wow! Right now I'm jobless and enjoying my time at home but but but! I am starting a job December 1st at Maxim Health care. I use to work at a place where hell was real and the devil existed under a blue collar shirt, yea the slave capital of the world, "Walmart" However, I took a leave for 2 months to finish up with school and get my future straight, then I landed a job that seems like it will def be promising and so I don't think I will be returning to the ol' ball & chain. Its great to be home though, I love that I can sleep late, wake up late and just laze around as I feel. Even though there are days that I feel like a total bum, I still have time to get out and visit my cousins at South Jersey, stay over my sister place and spend time with my wonderfully adorable chubby niece Fay-Fay so its not all that bad. But these free days will soon come to an end and then its off to work 40 hrs a week for the rest of my life scary!
I realize though that my life isn't the only one changing. Things are happening in front of me and somehow I'm missing it. Which I don't think is entirely a bad thing, but its just kind of scary when I took a step back to look at everything. And I also see alot of changes in the near future. The truth is I believe in change but I am afraid of change. You know how it goes, when a person is use to routine and that routine is changed it throws them in havoc, that they feel lost, confused and so they're stuck. Well that's me, I was so used to my life being the way it was but as I grow and those around me grow things change and I'm just not ready for moving forward. Though in life that's what your suppose to do right? Move forward. I guess I'll hold my breathe and brace myself for the impact and see where I land. Yet! I will not sit quietly my friends, I do have control and if I see something I'm not liking then I WILL CHANGE IT! See that's when I am not afraid of change, when I personally customize it.
It's strange because lately I have been getting these untimely urges to write, about what? Your guess is as good as mine lol. Not really sure what I want to write about but i just know i want to write. So I am gonna write about anything, anyone, anytime. This is one of the reasons why I had to change my blog site, see on my phone it was hard to log onto my xanga and blog. The site was all effed up and I couldn't navigate my way around. Now since my phone is a G1 powered by google I have an app for blogger, now its much easier for me to blog anywhere. I am also looking into investing in one of those new mini laptops (typing on my miniature phone keyboard tires my thumbs) and when I need to blog a book...ugh...i don't want to think about it. But you get the idea. Well see when I get my hands on one of those.
As far as my personal life goes, what can i really say................? It has its ups and downs I guess? I really don't know. I mean there are days that I'm so happy my muscles hurt from grinning so much........then...........there are those days that I want to rip my hair out! Tonight was one of those nights but I'm not getting into that...yeah yeah yeah...I know I said I wouldn't spare any details but tonight was jusst plain stupid and I don't think its worth the effort.
About my family, well now there's something to talk about. To be honest I really don't understand what goes on here in this household. We never really connected like those families in 7 heaven or full house. Its fair to say I speak mostly of the father. Lately it seems we just get pushed farther and farther apart, not like we were very close to begin with just the little closeness we had (based on absolutely nothing) has expanded itself to an even bigger gap. My siblings are my sanity its the only normal thing I see defining "family". The father has been on a rampage lately,very irritable, agitated that I don't want to be home or I try not to be home. I see the possibilities of the two of us clashing and oh boy its not a pretty sight, so I'm trying to spare myself that unnecessary confrontation.
So to finish off this post, I've been sick the last couple of days and shit man wtf!!! That's twice so far this winter. I already got sick back in Sept (and that time I was a wreck) and now again since last Wednesday! Geesh my immune system really sucks, my moms constantly telling me to take more vitamins and intake more vitamin C. I try, I really do but I cant keep up the daily intake, I always forget ( I have bad memory remember). I'm still in recovery, I sound like a dork, constantly sneezing at 3 sneezes consecutive, coughing up a lung, and occasionally feeling a temp.....hey wait!...............could it be swine?!
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